Merry Christmas 2013!

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Happy Spring!

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Merry Christmas!

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Justin Bieber Concert - October 26th, 2012

I took Haley and her friend, Breann, up to KansasCity last night for the Justin Bieber concert! Talk about some super excited 9 year olds!!!

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We went to Georgia!

We are so thankful that Gretchen & Justin allowed us to come visit them in Georgia last week. This was by far the best trip I have ever taken in my life. My heart is still bursting with happiness :)  Enjoy the photos/videos/music!

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Because I Love You

“Because I Love You”

My ride is here, it is time to say goodbye. With tears running down my face, I kissed my precious new baby girl and placed her in their arms. I am going home empty handed and broken hearted. They are headed home to Georgia with happy hearts as they are now a family. I made this choice for you, Elizabeth Jean, because I love you.

It is a nice breezy day in May. While everyone else is outside soaking in the sun, I am sitting in my room flipping through books. Stacks and stacks of books filled with happy couples hoping to meet you one day. Can I do this? Can I grow this life inside me and give it away? I don’t want to, but I know it’s what is best for you. Gretchen and Justin look like a nice couple. They can probably give you everything I cannot. I reluctantly pick up the phone and call the adoption agency to let them know I have made a choice.

The phone rings a few days later; “Hello Tracy. This is Gretchen.” I whispered to my bulging stomach “It’s your soon to be Mommy! She sounds wonderful and cannot wait to hold you in her arms”. You gave me a little kick and once again I am reassured that this is the right decision.

It is almost Labor Day now. Your new parents will be here in a couple of hours and we are going to the zoo. It is the end of August and over 100 degrees outside. My body aches and I am covered in sweat from head to toe! Your sisters and I really enjoyed getting to know your new family though. You are going to love them!

It is about 6am on September 2nd. I roll out of bed, for the 10th time in the last few hours, to use the restroom. My water broke upon standing up. The day has arrived. The day I have been dreading since May. Soon you will be out of my womb and into their arms. We frantically drive to the hospital and are soon in a delivery room. No drugs. No epidural. My body feels like it is going to rip in half, but still does not ache as much as my heart does. Your Daddy is videotaping and your Mommy is holding my hand. A few quick pushes later, we all witness you take your first breath. You’re beautiful! A healthy baby girl!

With a heavy heart, and tear filled eyes, I said goodbye to you the next morning. On the way out of the hospital, I read something on the wall “Psalm 139: For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” This day had already been planned for all of us. Long before we even knew you existed.

It is five years later and I think of you every day. Your Mommy sends me pictures and I talk to you on the phone every now and then. Your sisters and I are even flying to your house for the first time next month to see you. We cannot wait!

It was not an easy decision to give you up for adoption, but it was definitely the right one. I am forever blessed that the Lord brought you into my life. You have changed so many lives in just the five short years you have spent on this Earth. I made this choice for you, Elizabeth Jean, because I love you.

Riley's 8th Birthday Bash!! Spongebob Style!

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